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Etymological Entomologist — Studies Book Worms

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Question: Spencer the Sociable Spirit and his 5 friends — Casper, Wendy, Hot Stuff, Spooky, and Pearl — all want to sit on a fence post. How many rails and posts does the fence need so they all can sit on a fencepost at the same time?

Answer: 5 rails and 6 posts. Every fence has 1 more post than rails.  Confused?  Imagine a fence with only one rail ( it looks like this: |-| ).   See? Two posts has one Rail. Similarly 3 posts has 2 rails: |-|-| and so on…

This is known in Phantasmological Mathematics as the “Spence Ghost Problem”. (That’s a joke, son. Don’t get it? See Fencepost Problem) *

Gigantic shears will cleave off the far end of the riser while a diamond cutter, lowered on top of the blowout preventer early Tuesday, will try to make an even cut through the other end of the tube. A clean cut from the diamond cutter, which resembles a deli slicer, is important because engineers will then lower a heavy cap on top of the sheared-off tube to seal the leak.

In other words, they are going to perform a circumcision, then put a condom on it.

They’ll need an Oil Mohel ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel — mohel rhymes with “oil” ).  A BP engineer with a deep-sea yarmulke and a knife.

After that, they may need a fluffer ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffer ) to get the condom on.  Maybe an Oil Goil ( “girl” )?

diamond-studded wire saw operated by a robot got stuck and was later found to be ineffective

In other words, not enough lubrication ( had they no oil? ) and they couldn’t get the condom on to prevent the spillage from spoiling the virgin area.

It looks like they are putting the head of a penis on it, including — uh — a “gusher” out of the slits in the head:

From http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2010/06/03/VI2010060305275.html :

Little Orphan Annie will no longer be syndicated in newspapers:

Through more than 85 years of hardships and challenges — spanning the Great Depression, a world war, foreign cabals, corruption at home, several kidnappings and, well, being an orphan — she somehow always found a way to triumph.

In the changing media landscape, however, Little Orphan Annie has run into adversity not even she could overcome. The sun will come out tomorrow, but the tomorrow after June 13 will be the first in generations to dawn without “Annie” appearing in a daily newspaper.

Vote Vito:

Draw Little Orphan Annie A Home Day

As a result of the Comedy Central network’s self-censorship of South Park — http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/23/arts/television/23park.html and http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/26/opinion/26douthat.html — some cartoonists are organizing an “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” — http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=113257775375783 — which I oppose.  Since I’m a cartoonist of sorts, today’s Line Item Vito is my non-entry.

Vote Vito:

Eye for Eye

Because that’s the government I want.

It sounds great, except the point that keeps tripping me up is the definition of the word, “hurt.”  Some people (you extremists know who you are) are “hurt” when they see other people who don’t believe as they do.  So they want to make laws (or use other forms of coercion) to force the others to believe “correctly.”  Need examples? Inquisition; Holocaust; 9/11; Texas textbooks; Obamacare.

Is neglect “hurt”?  Will this new form of government allow us to neglect others in need, because such neglect is “hurting” the needy?

In the end, I really believe that the form of government is a red herring.  The real issue is how to create people whose moral and critical reasoning are sufficiently developed that the government doesn’t need to exist.  Such people will do what’s needed regardless of the form of government.

But until such people exist, I think we need a strong government to do a few things:

1. Impose freedom (see my first paragraph)

2. Protect people from hurt.

3. Help the needy.

4. Teach moral and critical thinking.

5. Get out of the way wherever possible.

The Republicans haven’t had a single African-American in the Senate or the House since 2003 and have had only three in total since 1935.

And:

The Tea Party movement is virtually all white.

Can you put 2 + 2 together?

Call it what you will, providing health care insurance to an additional 30,000,000+ people is a Good Thing.

Peace.

Instead, create a for-profit corporation and sign up shareholders instead of party members.

In this ABCNews article — Whose Tea Party Is It? Nashville Convention Stirs Debate:

Convention spokesman Mark Skoda acknowledged Wednesday that [Judson] Phillips and his wife Sherry Phillips, founders of the for-profit Tea Party Nation Inc., will “make a few bucks” on the event at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and Convention Center. But Skoda questioned why that should be anyone’s concern.

“Have we gone so far in the Obama-socialist view of the nation that ‘profit’ is a bad word? In particular, if we’re using it to advance the conservative cause?” Skoda asked.

It’s  a perfect time for the idea of party-as-corporation.  What with the Supreme Court granting personhood rights to corporations, your political corporation has much more freedom to use the power of the dollar to advance your cause.

And it might be profitable too.  As a shareholder you would earn dividends and benefit from increasing stock prices.  The corporation would profit from sales of bumper stickers, lawn signs, elephant hats for conventions, tea sets for tea parties, etc.  A corporation is BETTER than a party.

Forget political polls.  We’ll just track the stock prices of Republican Inc and Democratic Inc.

I have seen the future of politics: it looks like Wall Street.  Will the government decide Republican, Inc is too big to fail?

Eddie

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P.S. a government of the corporation, by the corporation, for the corporation…

Senate Loss Sends Shockwaves Through Dems sez:

Obama declared. “What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them.”

On Tuesday, Democrats saw a ground shift in the opposite direction.

Vote Vito:

Shaken